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December 28, 2007

I always imagined working from home this zen dream job

I always imagined working from home this zen dream job. Well let me tell you that working at home with a two year old is nothing that resembles ZEN! Wow, I really think that this is the hardest job I've ever done and I've dry walled the walls and ceiling of a run down restaurant! I have no idea what I'm doing most of the time, and I always second guess myself at the end of the day as to whether my daughter is really benefiting from this undertaking of mine and my staying home to "raise her" speaking of which is is often far from the one-on-one, quality-filled happy, educational days, I imagined I would be sharing with her. Then there is my poor husband that shows up to a house that looks like a tornado hit it, and a room full of product that I am desperately trying to get packaged before the post office closes and a fussy daughter standing at my side begging for somthing to eat. Oh, and I still haven't had a shower! I'm sure he is very attracted to me right about then. To top it off, if I do in a moment of stupidity venture to tell my husband when he has finally sat down on the couch, about my doubtful feelings and my guilt for not seeming to be able to get everything even half way done, my husband in his reliably manish way proceeds to do exactly what he does best and tries to FIX the situation with a simple explanation that I just do not know how to mange my time and if I would just do these 3 things he suggests it will be all better - and now the hockey highlights are on could he please watch them. In my internal fuming I realize that it is the least I can do to let him peacefully watch his highlights since he cooked dinner once again while I called clients, and entertained our two year old while I scheduled appointments for the next day and he now has 20 minutes before going to bed. I proceed to tackle the daunting list of TO DOs and I decide to try and work on the website we have just created. It is now 1:00am and I have barley finished one element. Our two yr old has woken 5 times in her usual fashion within 4 hrs, and I decide to go to bed as I will be getting up another 5 times at least with her, and she will be getting up at 7:00am and kissing me on the lips and pulling my eye lids open to tell my eyes loudly "Its' WAke UP Time! "

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